Hello friends! The title tells all. Next to the week back in March when my apartment flooded and COVID started (That was FUN! Hahaha, not.), this past week was one of the craziest weeks I've had this year. Better buckle your seat belts, this post is gonna be wild! Just kidding, but seriously. Alright, here we go.
First, we have to rewind just a bit. Some of you might know, back in July, I interviewed for and was offered a Behavior Interventionist position with a different company than the one I was with at the time. I was hired to do the same thing as I was doing before. Before I got this interview, I was having what I called a "quarter life crisis" moment (because let's be real, it's not a mid-life crisis until you're 50!) where I was not liking or enjoying the work I was doing as a behavior interventionist. I also wasn't feeling the most qualified to be in the position I was for many different reasons. I started feeling like I didn't actually possess the skills necessary to do the job and that it just wasn't in my personality to possess them. I accepted this fact and told myself it was okay. Then, I get this interview and it went super well. I got the job and accepted the offer. So, then I thought "you know, maybe I'll give this another shot. Maybe I'll improve and maybe things will turn around." Of course, I still struggled in the same areas I did before I got the job and it just wasn't getting any better. I just was not able to possess the skills necessary as I felt before. But, I kept going and I kept trying as hard as I could because what else was I supposed to do?
Back to the present! Eventually, my underdeveloped skills were noticed. Last Tuesday, it was determined I was unfit for the job and I was terminated. I respectfully agreed with what was said. I walked out of there thinking "What was I thinking? Why did I think I could still do this? I'm such a fool! That's it. I had that crisis moment for a reason. I am not fit for that kind of work in any way and I'm never going back! I'm not a quitter. I'm not giving up. I just have the grace and sensibility to realize that this is not what I'm meant to do anymore. I know myself best." I got in my car, started ugly crying like crazy, I called my mom during my drive home, we had a fine chat. I got home, sat on my couch, and I could barely move I was so shocked at the events of the day despite being at peace with it all. I mean, can anything really take away the newfound stress of no longer bringing in the dough? Not really. I ate barely anything that day. I've noticed in recent years that when I experience a high amount of stress emotionally, my appetite goes way down.
I eventually took a nap that day. What can I say? Being terminated from my job was kind of traumatic seeing as I had never actually been terminated from a job before. Trauma is exhausting. When I woke up, I started applying for jobs and being proactive. I mean, I may not have 100% figured out the new direction I'm going to take career wise now, but I can't just not work. What else was I going to do? I could have just sat on my couch and watched a bunch of TV and felt sorry for myself that this happened, but I've always told myself that's not a good look on me at all. Neither is being 26, having a college degree, and having no job a good look on me. So, of course I was going to get right back out there. All other possible choices of how to react in this situation sucked.
Just two days later, I had my first job interview. It went alright. I then got two more interviews and those were held yesterday. Lots of prayers were said during this past week as I was being scheduled for interviews left and right. Nerves were pretty high. I received a job offer yesterday, so I prayed one more time regarding what to do. I felt so good about the offer I received, so I took it and I completed that step at my new place of employment today. I am so impressed that this all happened in just one week after losing my job last week. I didn't think I would get a new job this quickly. But folks, I freaking did it.
I've never been so proud of myself. I can confidently look back on what I've been through in the last year or so and say "I freaking did all of that. And I did it all like the boss lady I am." I've survived abuse, divorce and recovering from job loss quickly, all with having autism and dealing with my autistic traits. I'm still going. That's pretty big. I may have deficits and challenges due to having autism, but after overcoming all of these things along with other challenges autism has brought over the years, what is going to stop me now? I mean, really? Nothing. Maybe I'll get knocked down again a few more times, but this is living proof that I'm just gonna get right back up and either try again or change direction. Nothing can actually stop me for long. I just do what it takes to find the right path again.
We all have certain things that we feel are weaknesses. It's what we choose to do about them that matters. If we allow them to stop us from pursuing certain things, that's what will happen: we won't pursue those things. Now, if you're like me and you realize that you just can't possess the skills for a job or you just plain don't like the job like you thought, it's okay to change direction! You know yourself best and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't owe anyone an explanation either. It's not giving up if that is how you feel. Just because one door closes, it's not the end of the world. Another one will open and it's usually even better. If you feel like you have weaknesses or deficits getting in the way of doing what you want to do, ask yourself what you can do about them and make the best choice. There's always something you can do. In hopes of overcoming some of my deficits due to autism and finding the best fit career wise, I'm going to get professional help. By doing so, I know I can do this! Whether you have autism or not, if you're reading this, don't ever give up! Don't ever let your deficits get in the way or knock you down permanently. You are amazing. You have many strengths and talents. You are worth it. And don't you ever forget it!
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